By Jon Berry
IN THE 1950s, LOU CASSOTTA DECIDED TO LEAVE HIS JOB
as an 
electrical engineer and become a psychologist. He was accepted into New York
University’s Ph.D. program, and began taking
classes at night as a part-time student, continuing to work during the day. He
knew at some point he’d have a problem: When he started his internship, he’d
have to give up his day job. His income, in turn, would drop precipitously. But
he resolved to deal with that day when it came.
“I had a feeling that, if you commit yourself to something, and you’re really open, things happen that you don’t expect,” recalls Lou (pictured above).
And they did. One night, a friend invited him over to see
her new prized possession – a radio tape recorder that she’d won in a contest.
To demonstrate, she put on a tape
she’d made of her therapist talking about a
research project involving the new technology of computers. As Lou listened, a light
bulb went off in his head: “I’m an
engineer and a psychology student. I know computers.
That guy’s got to want me.” He wrote a letter, the man wrote back, and within a
few months, Lou was offered a position on the project. The flexible hours
enabled him to go to school full-time. The project kept him on salary while he
was on his internship. The work became the subject of his thesis.
Coincidences like Lou’s are rare gifts. But many of us have had moments when, in a term from early Quakers, “way opens.” A door appears that we weren’t aware of. Such moments of recognition have been a theme in my interviews so far in Insight Trails interviews. Some of the stories sound like examples of synchronicity, Jung’s “meaningful coincidence.” But many are simply realizations that opportunity has knocked – moments of inspiration. Joe Kelly’s wife, Nancy Gruver, had such a moment when the idea for New Moon magazine sprang fully formed into her mind. George Russell had a more gradual realization of his skills as a healer when his fellow dancers started asking him to do bodywork on them, then making appointments, then giving him money.
In an ideal world, opportunities would come to us in the form of burning bushes – preferably, a burning bush that talks to us. In their absence, we must develop a practice of learning to recognize opportunity.
A lot comes down to two ideas that Lou Cassotta intuited as a young man: commitment and openness.
A lot, I think, comes down to two ideas that Lou intuited as
a young man: 
commitment and openness. “If you make a
bold move, it changes
your life,” says Lou. “It changes your view. Things come up that you can’t foresee.” Lou, a golfer (photo), compares the phenomenon to athletes who are in “the zone”: Time slows down (an approaching baseball) so that what to do becomes clear. The athlete is
simultaneously focused (“hit the ball”) and open to input that will help
reach the goal (“the rotation of the seams means…curve ball”).
To be open, we need to be able to listen. A conflict resolution manual published
by the Mennonites that I read years ago said something that has always stayed with me. Listening, the book said, is more than a
tool to help someone feel heard. It’s “opening ourselves to the possibility of
being changed.” Meditation is, essentially, deep, transformative listening (a
meditation exercise on attuning ourselves to our environment follows this
essay).
Commitment to a cause can change those around us, too. Ellen
Baker’s friends helped her set up her bookkeeping business, offering
encouragement, creating ads, designing her business
cards, even bringing her clients. Kristen Laine says people around her took her more seriously after she
began to thinking of herself as a writer. “You recognize it in someone,” says Kristen. “I think something actually, physically changes in people, in how they
hold themselves, when they’re committed to a path.”
My mom, I think, got the gist of it in one of her favorite sayings: “You make the bed you lay in.”
Mom Was Right. Those
who have read or seen the New Age best-seller The Secret might call “opportunity knocks” moments examples of the
law of attraction – you attract what you think. But the idea is much older and
more widespread. It’s the Hindu concept of karma – our actions create our fate.
It’s in the phrase Ellen Baker heard in 12-step meetings: “You get back what
you put out.” A lot of practical, common-sense advice passed down from
generation to generation is about the messages we send to the world.
have them do unto you”), in other sayings of their day – increase
your chances of getting the life you want. If we want a meaningful life, we
need to put our thoughts and actions into creating a meaningful life.
My dad’s parents are legendary in our family for their
resourcefulness. Grandpa Don learned to repair his farm
equipment; this, in turn, got him work repairing machines in the factories in
town. When rural electrification
came, he wired many of the farms in the area. He
knew plumbing, built houses, and was barber to local kids. My grandpa and
Grandma Clara, with their four sons, raised much of their own food. They cured
their own ham.
At a
time when many Americans lost their farms, my
grandparents held onto theirs – “the little place,” as they called it – throughout the Depression. When prosperity returned in the 1950s, they parlayed it into a larger farm on better
ground up the road. That farm remains in our family (photos). Whether my
grandparents “attracted” abundance, or were following a maxim of their day
(“God helps those who help themselves”) is, to me, semantics. They were
committed and open to what life presented.
That’s I.T.
“5-4-3-2-1 meditation.” This is a great exercise for tuning in and opening up to the world around us. I learned it in a workshop led by Arizona psychologist John Dore. Start by closing your eyes in meditation. Keep them closed for several minutes. When you open your eyes, make a mental list of five things you see; five things you hear; and five things you’re feeling. Then close your eyes for several minutes; open them, and tick off four things you see; four things you hear; and four things you’re feeling. Close your eyes and repeat the exercise for three things you see, hear, and feel; then two; then one. I’ve tried this meditation to start the day, and before writing, speeches, and important meetings – and think I’ve just tapped the surface of its potential.
To read the following Insight Trails interviews, click on the links below:
Ellen Baker
http://www.insighttrails.com/blog/2008/01/qa-ellen-baker.html
Joe Kelly
http://www.insighttrails.com/blog/2007/09/qa-joe-kelly-da.html
Kristen Laine
http://www.insighttrails.com/blog/2007/11/qa-kristen-lain.html
George Russell
http://www.insighttrails.com/blog/2007/10/dr-george-russe.html